Day 29: Last race of the season

Saturday

Well, i finished the month the only way i know how: giving it everything i had.

i started this month, wanting to do my best.
wanting to be able to sit on the track, take my spikes off, KNOWING, i couldnt have done anything more.
i wanted to lay it all on the line.
and know i put ALL of myself into it.

Today, i can say, i left nothing on the track.

I ticked all the boxes,
crossed all the "t's"
and dotted all the "i's"

i can honestly sit here and say, i gave it all i had.
and all i had wasnt enough for them
but it was certainly enough for me

i ran my 4th fastest time ever
struck down with a bad case of the flu.
couldnt breathe during warm up
at all.

i made two very minor mistakes
(and for those who hurdle they'll know that ONLY two mistakes is a good effort.)
but i walked off that track with my head held high

i took a risk
and looking at it one way, it didnt pay off
but the experience, the knowledge and the motivation i got out of this month
was more valuable then a commonwealth games A-Qual.

an A-Qual would have been nice
but the experience has set me up for big bright things in the future.

and all in all. im not ready for a championships team.
it wouldnt be fair.
i need to be stronger.
technically sharper
and i'd hate to say it
work harder

i know what i want
i know how to get it

all thats left is to be paitient
work hard
and reap the rewards.

i'd be lying if i told you i wasnt disappointed.
but every vomit session
every double digit rep
every squat hold
every 400m praying
ever weight lifted in the gym
every hard time i face in front of me
i will remember this disappointment
i will hold onto the bitter taste of disappointment
i will look it straight in the face
and i will laugh
i will work harder
push through the pain
i will bear it all
knowing, i never wanna feel this way again.
knowing, ill never let myself be faced with this level of disappointment again.



watch me.


you'll see.

Day 22-Day 28: thrown in the towel

this week i havent updated due to the fact ive thrown in the towel

last weekend was an amazing disaster and after 10 months of flat our comps and over 25 100m hurdle races (most people would do a max of 10 a season) my body has decided to call it quits.

now those who know me well know that i NEVER give up.
however, my mind has nothing to do with it,

my body just cant do it anymore

and its amazing it didnt give up months ago

however, with one more scheduled week on the coast i decided to go for broke
put in a solid week and try and cap of the month with a decent race.

training was going well
i felt strong and fast
and almost back to normal speeds

then my body, once again, proved how much ive over worked it
and now im as sick as a dog
race today
race tomorrow
then home time

what started as a chase for an A-qualifier has turned into "just get threw it" goal.

disappointing, but its not meant to be

ill come back stronger, fitter, faster and unstoppable next season.

but for now.
just gotta get threw it.