DAY 21: TGIF

friday


TGIF - 


Time 
Goes 
Increasingly 
Fast

&& i'm scared to think what will happen to me

if i fail.

race day tomorrow

take it seriously

make it happen

DAY 20: Time.

thursday

time seems to get faster the closer you get to the end of something.

today, i looked up
metaphorically
and i can see the end is in sight.

and its a scary prospect

ive spend 18 months chasing this dream
not knowing what will become of it
and within the next 9 days
i'll know.

18 months behind me.
9 days infront.
1 dream.

Day 18 & 19: Slip

tuesday && wednesday

this entry is titled slip for two reasons;

the first being that tuesdays session was a slip step session

the second being that i felt after wednesdays session my dreams slipping through my fingers.

lets start off with tuesday.

reading, training, reading.

trying to get my legs to remember how to turn over.

to no avail.

Wednesday:

after all the reading on tuesday, i gave up reading and turned to typography.

i liked it.

&& might have to get more into when i come home.

wednesday session was horrid.

you know when you have those days where nothing goes right?

i had a hurdle session.

i started warm up and it pissed down, 

obviously, i trained in it.

and sadly, the best part of the day was the weather

and that was shit

so i dont need to tell you how the session went

but something amazing happened on wednesday.

i really struggled, to even get out of the blocks.

attempt after attempt after attempt

i started to get frustrated

angry

passionate.

something i havent felt for along time in this sport.

passion.

after 45 min of barely making it over the first hurdle.

i found myself in the middle of the track

down on all fours

in the pouring rain

crying my eyes out

punching the track

yelling internally

and then, like someone flicked a switch

i realised how much i still wanted this

how much i still needed this

and i am still going to get this.

however, first thing im going to get, is a massage.

DAY 17: the beauty of the moment

monday

Monday i had a really epic session,

touch time/turn over session so nothing amazingly hard

but i decided i didn't need to be at the track to do this session

so i found an AMAZING spot of the top of a mountain

overlooking the beach and cliffs.

it was such a beautiful place to train,

even tho i didnt get to appreciate the sights fully

im worried.

about myself

im finding myself doubting myself

which is pretty normal

but also very unwanted

i need to snap out of this

i dont wanna go home without some form of reward

at the end of this month

they dont believe in me

&& im not sure i do either

DAY 15 & 16

Saturday, Sunday

bored.

hurdled sunday.

still bored.

DAY 14: All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become

training last night was killer

i hate it when i get too excited to do 150's, sprint them all at 100% then struggle through the rest of the sessions. my 100 reps yesterday were struggle town and the 50 reps were arguably worse.

but im very impressed with my 150's. to hit out that many, thats fast with walk backs was actually something to be very very proud of.

But it find its very hard training by myself.

very very hard.

Apparently, the 2 new girls turned up to squad training back home last night. so, there was Andrea, Bec, Bec and Bec. yep. the two new girls are both Bec's. and we already had a Bec. fun times ahead. its not going to be confusing at all.

i cant wait to get home and meet the new girls. i like working with younger girls because i like teaching people just how amazing they can be, to let them know, its ok to dream. and aim high. and believe. The juniors thrive off me. and im unsure why. all i do is encourage them and help them believe in themselves. am i really one of the only people in the world that do that?

Its quite flattering really, for people to have that much faith in my words. because at the end of the day, i never had anyone in my life as a junior to help me keep believing. And i think life would have been easier if i had. so if i can help these girls out. thats all i need out of this sport.

attitudes are contagious. make yours worth catching.

DAY 13: pain

THURSDAY

Yesterday, was recovery day.

and i thought, lets go to movie world.

recovery day my ass.

im as tired as ever.

cross of a speed session and a p0ol recovery session today

get a massage

and on with the job ahead.

people think my life is easy.

but they only see the good.

- travel everywhere

- dont have to work 12 hours a day

- the only thing i have to worry about it training.

but they dont see the bad

its a lonely sport

the pain and hard work that is required is far far underpaid

the pain of disappointment

of injuries

im in a near-constant state of lactic.

its not even funny how much pain im in even right now

this is not an easy life.

this is not a life i want for my kids even

its just my life.

thats all it is.

DAY 12: The few things that i do know

WEDNESDAY

heres a few things that i know:

1. To be the best, you have to work harder then everyone else

2 . To be the best, you need a network of people around you supporting you

3. To be the best, you have to have that x-factor that separates you from the rest.

4. To be the best, you must sacrifice most things in life.

5. To be the best you must be diligent.

6. To be the best, you must be a dreamer.

7. To be the best, you must be fearless and motivated.

8. To be the best, you must be focused and strong willed

9. To be the best, you must love what you do.

10. To be the best, you must be patient.

11. To be the best, you must believe.

but most importantly,

to be the best, you must first have the inexplicable desire to be the best.

DAY 11: Pain you cant even begin to understand

TUESDAY:

i really dont wanna sound up myself here or over confident or any of that jazz. But i am honestly starting to believe that Jason is one of the toughest coaches in Australia. and it would explain why since he has taken over our squad has had nothing but success and epic PB's.

I have worked with many well known coaches over the years. Ive seen various different programs, and heard various different stories. And while some of the sessions were hard. NONE seemed impossible as ours. When i read my program, my easiest sessions are harder then most peoples hard session. Some programs are actually laughable. One session i saw about 2 months ago, was one of the worst session ive ever seen, it was so easy and it produced one of the best athletes WA has, which really is a testament to the talent of that particular athlete, as hard work had little to do with it.

And i believe thats why i am a good athlete.

not only do i work hard,

and nothing is impossible for me at training,

but i have a coach to sets impossible sessions

i swear, im sure he goes, i think she can make 10 reps at 100% so ill set 15.

and me being as hard headed as i am

will ALWAYS push out the set number.

im so glad, i dont have a coach who just sets a program for everyone.

he personalises it. for each athlete.

because i am not like anyone else.

DAY 10: There's still time

MONDAY

hardest session on my life today

my calves cramped the whole session

but i ran threw it evertime

&& finished the session

in impressive form i might add.

there is still time left.

dont stop believing.

DAY NINE: perseverance

Look at a stone cutter, hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.

i never realised how easy my success came until now.

but i know what ive done wrong.

but at the end of the day i have to want to fix my mistakes

before i can fix my results

and im not going to lie

the road im on has plenty of little parking spots i wanna park in.

but if park my car now

it will only take me longer to get to where i am going

and even if, right now, its not where i wanna go,

i know its eventually where i want to be

Success seems to be largely a matter of

hanging on after others have let go.

and my fingers are getting sore from holding on

only the strong survive. and im not sure i have what it takes.

im sick of wasting my life away on a dream that

might never be in reach

i feel time is running out but i cant let the fear

of the time it will take to accomplish something

stand in the way of doing it.

The time will pass anyway;

we might just as well put that passing time

to the best possible use

because at the end of the day, even if i miss this goal

i have to do all the work anyway to reach the next one.

difficult things take a long time,

impossible things a little longer.

and i may not be there yet,

but im closer than i was yesterday.

DAY EIGHT:RACE 2 and 3: the day my soul died.

I need something to believe in

coz i dont believe in myself

and im sick and tired

of getting no where

guess it'll all work out

- newton falkner

I can say with strong convictions
that today was the worse day of my athletic life to date
i dont even wanna talk about it.

Food poisoning doesnt help
but it also doesnt even come close
to excusing my darkest day.

DAY SEVEN: fridays have a place in my heart

if i could marry anything in the world,

it would be fridays.

or Edward Cullen or Stefan Salvator.

gosh, id even take Damon Salvator.

but ill leave that for another day.

Today, i made a discovery about myself

i absolutely love puns.

and sarcasm.

and watching wife swap.

im also re-re-re-re-reading twilight.

and have a desperate need to watch vampire diaries

needless to say it was a pointless day

but i like them the best.

race tomorrow

2 x 100m hurdles

atleast i feel more ready then i was last week

DAY FOUR, FIVE, SIX: the days seem way too long

ok, im getting days mixed up here

Day Four: Tuesday.

i did a hurdle session at the track. i hit the hurdle with my sore knee and you should see the size of the bruise, its hilarious. its the size of my fist.

Had the biggest lactic headache coz it was sooo hot

Day Five: Wednesday

Did a block hurdles session

epic fail.

these blocks are hard to use when im so used to the nordic ones at perth.

but it wasnt too bad. i was supposed to do two sessions on wednesday but my body wouldnt let me. instead i had a nanna nap.

also, on wednesday, i had fish eggs for the first time.

and GROSS!

Dad also won lotto. the whole 26 bucks. hahaha

Day Six: Thursday

I was looking at eclipse stuff online, yes, i love twilight ok deal with it. and zommmgggg, i cant wait for it to come out. it will be a highlight of my time away.

Got a session this arvo, speed/plyo work. nothing too extreme coz i gotta race saturday.

not looking forward to tomoro, taking a recovery day.

bore snore.

for now im going to walk to the beach

take a book

and chill for a few hours

cheerio

DAY THREE: purple and bruised.

how i have survived being a hurdler for so long i will never know

i have two very very very big bruises on my knees

yes, both knees

But today was good.

went to surfers paradise and wondered around

pointless and aimlessly

just to waste time

then i did a training session

first session ive finished in a long time and the hammy pulled up great. it was just like a active rest day so i only pushed out double digit 80m reps. pretty easy stuff.

today i found myself missing my mum and my puppy dog alot.

i wish i could go home

i wish comp was there and not here

but its not.

i miss jason too, but i talk to him so much on the phone that its not too bad. and lucky dad is here, hes been my personal chef. its been good. so far.

well, another day over. a zillion to go.

oh oh, one thing that happened today is that next monday i have an entire day off (a rare thing) i get a 'free' day so dad and i are going to go to movie world!!

WIN!

RACE TWO: All is not lost.

I was a tiny bit worried yesterday to tell you the truth

but today was a lot better

13.60, Sally was within reach for the most part.

Again, i got second to her but i could almost reach out and touch her the whole way. Until the last hurdle home where i thought it might be a good idea to dip from the finish line home as apposed to running to the line THEN dipping. haha

but it was a HUGE confidence boost to know i can rub shoulders with her - shes friggen amazing

also, on the bright side i did manage to say in my lane.

But how i wish i could have raced Sally the whole season.

Also, i find myself getting more respect here then in WA, everybody is nothing but helpful and they believe in me and want me to do it. I do NOT miss WA athletics at times like this.

I even prefer to hurdle on this track then perth!

Also, went to the beach and it was amazinggggg

its nice and hot here

cant wait til tomorrow to hit the track and get some good solid work under my belt. Its been awhile since i flogged myself hardcore coz ive been injuried but if the weather stays hot here, its going to be an amazing week of sessions, plenty of 150's and kenetic energy work in store. Also, the odd starts and pool work.

Im also finding that there is zero pressure on me to win. and im enjoying that. It gives me the chance to finally get my mind off wining and more about running my process. Something ive been trying to do all season. I think ive grown up alot as an athlete already and its only day 2.

More importantly,

For the first time in a long time i find myself enjoying what i do.

Instead of it being work, its more like pleasure.

DAY TWO: fun times

its 3am and ive been up for hours

love not being able to sleep,

and knowing i have to be up in 4 hours.

RACE ONE: all things considered.

13.81

it was weird. like i forgot how to race. hahah

I was in the lane next to Sally McLellan (now Sally Pearson)

Pretty sure she was over the first hurdle before i even reacted.

needless to say i was last off the blocks. again.

it was a crazy hot day and conditions were perfect.

I ran a strong last 5 or so hurdles.

came 2nd.

felt great to get a race under my belt and i get to race tomorrow.

Rosie Lawson and the T-rad ran today and are also running tomorrow

so we've got some high quality competition.

Rosie also confirmed her spot on the world juniors team with her run today.

shes such a nice chick

love her.

but now im bored shitlesss. watching some gay ass daytime movie.

seriously, nothing to do coz i have to "rest"

so the most exciting thing other then racing was eating lunch.

tuna, tomato, lettus and carrot wrap.

exciting times.

DAY ONE: we are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.

Flight yesterday was cancelled.

great start, i though.

but our hire car is amazing, our apartment is perfect. a little noisy but manageable.

Weather is amazing.

its hot

doesnt look like there is much wind around.

just paid 60bucks for a month of internet tho, that sucked.

totally worth it tho.

Sally McGrady at Jump Start did amazingly at choosing the car/accom.

But missing my Chiropractor, Andrina like hell right now tho.

The entire focus on this trip is going to be about changing my attitude.

as the title says,

we are responsible for the effort, not the outcome

put the effort in, and the outcome will take care of itself.

race in 4 hours.

What's in store.

Now, i'm off to the Gold Coast to finish the season on my own terms.

In the last year i have done some amazing things.
I competed in the UK for the Athletics Ashes in the 100m Hurdles
I won the Sydney Track Classic 100m hurdles
Took out both state titles for the 100m and 100m hurdles,
Silver at Open Nationals
Commonwealth Games B-Qualifier.

Lets see if i can cap it off with an A-qualifier, or at least a PB, i couldn't go into the offseason knowing that disaster run at nationals was my last. Injury has plagued me recently, its been a long season for me, but with the help of my awesome Chiropractor, and all the support from Leeming Chiropractic Center i think i can give the A-qualifier a good shot. If not, i'm currently the second fastest WA ever so i wouldnt mind walking away with the state record of 13.32

Ive taken off like 0.73 in one season,
In total over the past 2 seasons ive taken off like 2.4 Seconds
So it is a big ask to take off another 0.17 seconds
But not an impossible one.

Here's what my next month will look like

Depart Date; 4th June 2010, 11am Flight.
Stop over in Sydney then onto the Gold Coast.

Race Dates:
5th June, Southport
6th June, Southport
12th June (x 2), Southport

13th June, UQ
26th June, UQ
27th June, UQ
2/3/4 (x 2) July, Southport, USA Down Under comp.

Return Date, 5th July.


A-Qualifier: 13.25
State Record: 13.32
My PB: 13.43

Possible: YES.